Couples Therapy
Are conflicts with your partner getting worse?
Do you feel distant from each other?
Is it scary to bring up your concerns?
Are you uncertain your relationship will make it?
Are you longing for a way back to connection?
It can be scary when we’re losing touch with the person we most need.
Thankfully, there is a way back to connection.
Why Couples Therapy Works
Relationships are not easy. They’re far more profound. Two human beings, trying to navigate the rollercoaster of life’s ups and downs, all of the disappointments, setbacks, and the day-to-day stressors of navigating work, financial matters, family dynamics, parenting, and endless questions about the future. Life’s ups and downs rock the boats of even the most solid relationships.
Few of us find it easy when we’re stressed, overtired, or feeling insecure, to reach to our partners for the love and comfort we need. Add to that that you and your partner are two distinct individuals, molded by different life experiences, which can lead to misunderstandings and confusion : Why is my partner acting this way?”
The good news is that working together, I can provide you and your partner with the tools and the skills to re-establish connection, to heal ruptures where they’ve happened, and create new foundations of trust and understanding that will keep you connected and engaged through life’s challenges.
I bring extensive training and experience in two of the most recognized forms of couples therapy: Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT).
EFT guides you and your partner on a path towards greater safety and trust, which in turn deepens the sense of bonding and connection between you. Imago Therapy teaches you both tools and structured dialogs that enable you both to feel seen, heard, and valued, so that you can navigate even the most challenging disagreements effectively. From a place of safety, you find it easier to access the joy and aliveness that brought you together in the first place.
Working together, I can help you and your partner create a new chapter deeper trust, confidence, and mutual satisfaction.
Below are some common concerns about beginning couples therapy :
Is it a bad sign if we need therapy?
Quite the opposite. It’s a sign that your relationship is precious to you, and you’re willing to work to make it better. Nearly all marriages and relationships encounter times of misunderstanding and disconnection. Seeking to work on your relationship, to confront the challenges instead of avoiding them, is a sign of strength.
Therapy is expensive, isn’t it?
Therapy is an investment in your happiness. Indeed, therapy is a big commitment of time and money. The benefits are increased potentials for joy and connection in the most important relationship in your life for years to come. Many couples find that the benefits are well-worth the investment, especially when comparing positive outcomes of deeper satisfaction and fulfillment together, versus enduring the pain of repeated conflicts and disconnection and the potentials of break-up or divorce.
I’m worried I’m going to feel judged. Are you going to referee?
I work very hard to create safety so that both you and your partner feel heard, cared for, and understood. I don’t take sides. Contrary to the old idea of couples therapy, of couples arguing in session, basically none of our time will be spent in argument. When issues arise, I help you focus on the needs and longings that exist beneath the anger. I help you and your partner discover the underlying emotional mechanics that drive your conflicts so that you can learn to skillfully prevent them from happening.
I don’t take sides. Forget the notion of therapist as referee. I validate you wherever you are at. Together, we bring kindness and curiosity to whatever arises and learn to communicate the important longings beneath the hurt feelings and cross words.
I establish safety. I know how hard it can be to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with someone you hardly know. I value the courage this takes and make sure you feel heard, validated, and understood in our work together.
I instill hope. Couples come to therapy in pain, scared their partner doesn’t really love them, or that their relationship is failing. From the very first session, I work to give you a renewed sense of hope, strength, and possibility in the relationship.